AnElephantCant wear fancy footwear
And he certainly can’t wear big boots
He has quite big toes
Though not as big as his nose
And he has really ginormously big foots
Once again it is Friday Fictioneer time.
Where svelte-shoed Rochelle hosts footwear fanatics from all over the world.
And some men.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
Copyright – Adam Ickes
She arrives home to see the dog, nervous, at the poolside.
She wanders across, more curious than concerned.
He is floating face down, unmoving.
Dropping the groceries she takes quick steps and leaps to his rescue.
He is floating face down, unmoving.
He loves to lie still, listening to the rhythm of his heart.
Occasionally he moves his arms very slowly, very gently.
His shadow and the reflection of the ripples remind him of Da Vinci’s Universal Man.
He is at peace.
He sees a shadow and turns his head.
Her boot catches him on the temple, killing him instantly.
Posted in Daft Rhymes, Friday Fictioneer, humour
Tagged 100 words, barefoot, boots, da vinci, elephant toes, flash fiction, footwear, poolside, rhythm of heart, short story, swimming, universal man
Jig Saw by Phil Burns
AnElephantCant ever finish a Jigsaw
He can never work out where the next bit goes
They are such silly shapes
Like giraffes or great apes
He thinks it is easier to knit swimwear for hippos
He knows you must start with the corners
Before the straight edges he is wise to the tricks
Surely there are exactly four
No less and no more
So why does AnElephant always end up with 3 or 5 or 6
Then there are millions of mind-boggling bits in the middle
Usually a mixture of bright azure sea and light blue sky
Or green grass and leaves
They are designed to cause him a pain in his colour-blind eye
Sometimes he gets help from friends family and neighbours
It is almost done with happy handshaking and casual kissing
But then he starts to weep
Collapses in a sad heap
Because the last piece is always the only one that is missing
When he sees the picture on the box he wants to buy it
Because it looks interesting and challenging and inviting
But when he lays it out
He is consumed with self doubt
It no longer looks intriguing or humorous or exciting
Unless it is designed to test toddlers under 3 years
With one piece to join onto one piece
A maximum of 8
Each the size of a plate
With Jack to help him AnElephant can do this with ease
Posted in Daft Rhymes, humour
Tagged azure sky, children's toys, friends and neighbours, giraffes, grass and leaves, great apes, hippos, jig saw, jigsaw, last piece, mind-boggling, rhyme, toddlers
Diggers and stuff by AnElephantCant
AnElephantCant resist any kind of road-building machinery
Although he gets cheesed off when they close down half a helpful highway
But he thinks it’s real neat
When he heads out to the street
And discovers all this mechanical magic sitting silently in his driveway
Now the daddy of them all is the dynamic digger
With a casually cool collection of clever controls
It shows its true worth
Shifting tons of The Good Earth
Dragging it out of or back into huge holes
The little one seems to be not too exciting
It isn’t fast or sleek it’s a bit of a crawler
But at flattening the tar
It’s a true superstar
AnElephant loves a rumbustious rock ‘n’ roller
The little yellow dude is more multi-purpose
Although he does not replace pick-axes or spades
He runs around everywhere
Taking the greatest of care
To do whatever’s needed he’s a Jack of all trades
Still more sensational is the stealth-like show-stealer
Which pours out hot tar which it promptly proceeds to fast flatten
To an impeccable finish
No one can diminish
The legacy of that street-smoothing Scot John Loudon Macadam
The best thing about all this is the workies
If AnElephant’s mummy sees these messieurs they’d have thrilled her
As they do their great jobs
They are quite the heart-throbs
But AnElephant is a guy so he much prefers Bob the Builder
AnElephant and his best friend construct an entire new hospital
Every Wednesday unless of course it starts to rain
When he says cherry-picker
Jack always has a chuckle and a snigger
He says don’t be silly that’s just a wee baby crane
Jack the Builder by AnElephantCant
Posted in Daft Rhymes, humour
Tagged bob the builder, cherry picker, crane, digger, driveway, jack of all trades, macadam, mechanical, rhyme, road builder, steam roller, tar, the good earth
AnElephantCant remember how many
Of anything it takes to change a light bulb
Because he ain’t too bright
So if you need some light
Stay well clear or he may accidentally squash you to pulp
This is a weekly invitation to write a short piece of fiction (c. 150 words) based on a photo prompt (below) provided by Alastair.
Follow the link to see a discotheque of stories shine a light on your best moves.
But please read AnElephant’s switched on submission first.
Copyright Al Forbes
She sits anxiously sipping tea in her neighbour’s front room.
The police are searching her home and garden again, this time much more thoroughly.
She has given them every detail of her daughter’s appearance.
Her hair and eye colour (blonde, blue), her height (3 feet 3 inches), the clothes and shoes she looked so pretty in, even the plastic birthday jewellery she was wearing for the first time.
Old Rob pats her hand sympathetically, supportively, he has been such a comfort for so long.
He was there to help when they moved in, there when Connie was born, five years ago yesterday, there as a shoulder to cry on when Steve left.
She smiles back gratefully, strained but sincere, and clears the dishes into the kitchen.
At the back door, reflected in the light bulb, lies a single pink bead.
Posted in Daft Rhymes, Other Fiction
Tagged 150 words, beads, birthday present, blue eyed blonde, clear the dishes, cup of tea, disappearance, five years old, flash fiction, kindly neighbour, light bulb, police search, short story
AnElephantCant always be amusing
Although he does like to supply apple pie fun
So since it is Saturday
He decides to just play
And write himself a thoughtful wee Haibun
The Beach by AnElephantCant
He sits wriggling his toes in the sand, drying off in the sun after his swim.
He is deep inside himself, oblivious to his surroundings.
He is roused abruptly from his reverie by the sound of barking.
He smiles as he sees a little spaniel-like dog standing in front of him, tail wagging, a stick at its feet.
It barks again.
The message is clear.
He gets up, laughing, and hurls the stick into the sea.
He sits, the dog gone from his mind, until it barks again.
There it is, tail wagging, stick at its feet!
He laughs aloud, and repeats his previous actions.
A lady appears.
She is significantly older than he is.
To his confused amusement she scolds him shrilly, before calling the dog and walking off indignantly.
The dog casts him a rueful glance.
He settles down again, searching for his train of thought.
Twenty seconds later he hears barking.
He looks down the beach to see the dog standing before a couple reclining in deck chairs.
The stick is at its feet.
The woman gets out of her chair and picks it up.
Posted in Daft Rhymes, france, haibun, humour
Tagged beach, deck chair, dog, haibun, haiku, in the sunshine, japanese, tail wagging, throw a stick
Nelson Mandela July 18, 1918 – December 5 2013
AnElephantCant always be funny
And he can’t always write the best rhyme
But he can say thank you to Nelson Mandela
The greatest man in his lifetime
We remember the man in the green shirt
We remember the smile on his face
We remember he forgave the long hurt
We remember he united a race
Nkosi sikelel’ iAfrika
The words stir this elephant’s heart
Lord, bless Africa
Oh, Nelson, you made a great start
The Lion of Venice in Asolo, 2 Views of Venice
AnElephantCant ever stop travelling
So he spends a short time in idyllic Italy
He only speaks 3 or 4 words
None of them useful nouns or verbs
No one minds they still treat him humongousorially hospitably
He visits friends in the San Martino Hills
With the Alps to the north and views southwards down to Venice
In nearby Val dee Fee
The fickle fairies stay
In rugged highlands where a mythical mystical glen is
The legends recount there are three kinds of fairies
Those who work and those who dance and bring joy
But then somewhat sadly
There are those who behave badly
Their job description says seek out and destroy
Asolo is a medieval walled village
Built on the site of 2,000 year old Roman baths
Your second favourite long-nosed creature
Discovers he loves piles of pasta and plates of pizza
His time here is a bundle of well-fed laughs
They spend one day in the magical city
Of canals and piazzas and bridges
Built back in the days when
The winged Lion of Venice has the power to generate immeasurable riches
But it is not St Marks or the Rialto that impresses
Not the Bridge of Sighs the Doges Palace or great steeples
The food is a treat
And boy AnElephant can eat
But what he loves most about Italy is the people
Except when they get in their cars and drive on the Autostrada.
Mama Mia, they are crazy!!!!!
Posted in Daft Rhymes, humour, travel
Tagged asolo, autostrada, bridge of sighs, bridges, doges palace, grand canal, italy, medieval, pasta, piazza, pizza, rialto, roman baths, san martino, st marks square, val dee fee, valley of fairies, venice, winged lion