The Phone – Friday Fictioneers

AnElephantCant deny it
This week he is right on the ball
When he sees the phone
He hears everyone groan
He is about to make a trunk call!

It is Friday Fictioneer time again.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on a picture prompt (below).
That’s it.

Copyright Danny Bowman

Copyright Danny Bowman

Twenty five years and I still miss your mum every day.
Aye, she was so happy too, moving into that new house.
That’s what killed her, you know, all the exertion and stress of moving.
And if the ambulance had been ten minutes earlier they could have saved her.
Imagine, eh, if that phone hadn’t been vandalised by some idiot just the previous night.
You must have nearly seen who did it!
I remember you charging out in a terrible mood, angry at leaving all your old pals behind.
You really grew up that day.
Looked after me ever since as if you blamed yourself.

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See The Pyramids Across The Clyde

The Ancient Pyramids of Glasgow

The Ancient Pyramids of Glasgow

AnElephantCant understand lots of cool things
He goes to this park regularly
But on his last visit
He sees this – what is it
It isn’t something you can easily carry

It doesn’t cost a fortune to build it
It is just twelve bits of fairly cheap wood
Does it serve a purpose
Or is it really useless
It doesn’t even look all that good

It isn’t a monument or statue
It can’t be a tribute to Burns
There is so much it lacks
He examines the facts
It doesn’t do cartwheels or turns

He doesn’t think it’s a wonderful sculpture
Like beautiful David by Michelangelo
Or The Thinker by Rodin
He is filled with foreboding
Do they plan to bring culture to Glasgow

AnElephant thinks it is built by extra-terrestrials
That is little green dudes from some other planet
Or in one day The Triffids
Cos didn’t they build the Pyramids
This is rubbish he is now sorry he began it

So he has no idea what this bizarre thing is
Perhaps it is all a bad dream
But Jack doesn’t care
He says just leave it there
Stop fretting let’s go for ice cream

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The Chest – Alastair’s Photo Fiction

AnElephantCant deny it
He looks forward to Al’s challenge
He tries not to be rash
As he gives it a bash
And hopes he won’t cause too much damage

Copyright Alastair Forbes

Copyright Alastair Forbes

I still remember that first voyage, must be thirty years ago now.
He wasn’t captain then, of course, just second mate, I think.
But he wasn’t one to hang around waiting for things to happen.
No, he slit a few throats along the way, I’ll be bound!

I’ve seen a few sights too.
Some of the stuff that’s been stored in here has been amazing.
Gold and silver bullion, Spanish doubloons, jewels, finest silks, I have kept them all.
And weapons!
Musketoons and flintlocks, cutlasses and daggers, all the tools of the pirate’s trade.
And finally that famous Treasure Map.

Which, I suppose, made it inevitable, if you think about it.
He made a few enemies along the way, became increasingly temperamental.
I worry that I will never be rid of his smell.
I hope someone gets him out of me before he reaches the advanced stage of decomposition.

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Bells – the Līgo Haībun Challenge

AnElephantCant pretend to feel upbeat
Perhaps it’s the dour Scottish weather
To make himself feel brighter
He writes something lighter
Then heads off for a romp in the heather

Time for the next Līgo Haībun Challenge .
The chosen topic for this week (starting 18th May) is Bells:
http://call2read.com/2013/05/18/ligo-haibun-challenge/

Before

Before

Bells

He raises his head expectantly when he hears the bells.
They have a sonorousness which he does not fully understand, but he knows when they ring she will come skipping out the door.

She always looks so young at these times, wearing a pretty bright dress, gloves and a hat.

And, although she seems in a hurry, she always has time to speak to him, promising him his heart’s desire on her return.
Then she steps out briskly towards the high steeple which makes the noise.

The door opens.
He struggles to his feet, delight emanating from every fibre of his being.
But she does not come dancing out.

Instead the men re-emerge, carrying a long narrow box between them.
They carry it to the first of the black cars waiting at the roadside.

Somehow he knows she will not come again.
His heart breaks as he turns back to his kennel.

the death of love
is nature’s reminder
of life’s inevitable futility

After

After

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AnElephant Socks it to ‘em

AnElephant's sock collection

AnElephant’s sock collection

AnElephantCant always wear matching socks
He really is not that well organised
But he is not miffed
He gets them as a gift
And each morning they bring a smile to his eyes

It all begins on his 98th birthday
Or 99th well a long time ago
His best friend says wear these
They come up to your knees
And they keep your tootsies warm in the snow

He does not want to show random preference
He is rather easily perplexed
So one of each pair
He chooses to wear
He puts different ones on both his hind legs

As you see they show all sorts of heroes
There is Elvis better known as The King
And just for a snigger
He is partnered with Tigger
Who we all know is a wonderful thing

There is Homer in lots of strange poses
Jack gave them all names at the start
Drinking beer Standing there
Dancing wild I don’t care
And of course there is also Bad Bart

Del Boy stars in a UK TV show
And Popeye begins as an advert for spinach
Unlike cool Spiderman
He yam what he yam
AnElephant thinks this is a good time to finish

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Up in the Morning and out to School

The Generation Game by Phil Burns

The Generation Game by Phil Burns

AnElephantCant really stop laughing
He goes back to school for a day
He is all excited
At being invited
The kids want to hear what he has to say

In a class of 30 7-year olds
He is given a bit of a grilling
They think he is dumb
But he has such fun
The whole visit is wonderfully thrilling

He tells how he approaches his writing
Just pour it out don’t stop to think
Get it all onto paper
Then correct it later
They ask him what if you write in ink
AnElephant and some smart folk

AnElephant and some smart folk

There are many insightful questions
Like are you really so old
Do you have a daughter
Do you know Harry Potter
Why is ice cream so cold

He talks about Scott and Stevenson
They all know about Robert Burns
To a Haggis To a Mouse
Tam O’Shanter To a Louse
These children all talk and he learns

The idea is to bring interesting people
To explain to the class what they do
A violin teacher an engineer
A chiropractor oh dear
How on earth did AnElephant slip through

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For Richer or Pooh-er

Can a Kangaroo Poo by Phil Burns

Can a Kangaroo Poo by Phil Burns

AnElephantCant say he’s certain
If this question should be discussed with you
Sometimes it‘s not good
It may even be rude
To ask where all the animals pooh

We all know that the woods are a jungle
Where the poor rabbit is used by the bear
Do gooses do it in water
They really shouldn’t oughter
And do duckies doo doo as they fly through the air

It is bound to be the plan that a kangaroo can
And probably a toucan can too
But what about frogs
Armadillos and hogs
And those upside down things that hang in the zoo

Then there’s Winnie the Bear with Pooh in his name
And Tigger the bouncy striped cat
Does Winnie Pooh Pooh
And Heffalump too
Hee haw Eeyore he always asks that

The same question arises with pee-pee
You’d be impressed by a buffalo flow
A pelican can pee
But a pecan can he?
Nah he’s a nut so probably no

AnElephantCant pretend he’s an expert
There are creatures he has never knowed
The California Newt
Unless that’s a fruit
And bufo bufo the common toad toad

When AnElephant was just a wee piccolo
He could not have a pet in the house
Not even a dog
So he made a hedgehog
By sticking a thousand toothpicks onto a mouse

So he sadly ends up none the wiser
About the toiletry habits of the gnus
Do meeces wee wee for free
Behind a rock or a tree
AnElephant goes to the rest room for a snooze

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