The Chest – Alastair’s Photo Fiction

AnElephantCant deny it
He looks forward to Al’s challenge
He tries not to be rash
As he gives it a bash
And hopes he won’t cause too much damage

Copyright Alastair Forbes

Copyright Alastair Forbes

I still remember that first voyage, must be thirty years ago now.
He wasn’t captain then, of course, just second mate, I think.
But he wasn’t one to hang around waiting for things to happen.
No, he slit a few throats along the way, I’ll be bound!

I’ve seen a few sights too.
Some of the stuff that’s been stored in here has been amazing.
Gold and silver bullion, Spanish doubloons, jewels, finest silks, I have kept them all.
And weapons!
Musketoons and flintlocks, cutlasses and daggers, all the tools of the pirate’s trade.
And finally that famous Treasure Map.

Which, I suppose, made it inevitable, if you think about it.
He made a few enemies along the way, became increasingly temperamental.
I worry that I will never be rid of his smell.
I hope someone gets him out of me before he reaches the advanced stage of decomposition.

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Bells – the Līgo Haībun Challenge

AnElephantCant pretend to feel upbeat
Perhaps it’s the dour Scottish weather
To make himself feel brighter
He writes something lighter
Then heads off for a romp in the heather

Time for the next Līgo Haībun Challenge .
The chosen topic for this week (starting 18th May) is Bells:
http://call2read.com/2013/05/18/ligo-haibun-challenge/

Before

Before

Bells

He raises his head expectantly when he hears the bells.
They have a sonorousness which he does not fully understand, but he knows when they ring she will come skipping out the door.

She always looks so young at these times, wearing a pretty bright dress, gloves and a hat.

And, although she seems in a hurry, she always has time to speak to him, promising him his heart’s desire on her return.
Then she steps out briskly towards the high steeple which makes the noise.

The door opens.
He struggles to his feet, delight emanating from every fibre of his being.
But she does not come dancing out.

Instead the men re-emerge, carrying a long narrow box between them.
They carry it to the first of the black cars waiting at the roadside.

Somehow he knows she will not come again.
His heart breaks as he turns back to his kennel.

the death of love
is nature’s reminder
of life’s inevitable futility

After

After

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AnElephant Socks it to ‘em

AnElephant's sock collection

AnElephant’s sock collection

AnElephantCant always wear matching socks
He really is not that well organised
But he is not miffed
He gets them as a gift
And each morning they bring a smile to his eyes

It all begins on his 98th birthday
Or 99th well a long time ago
His best friend says wear these
They come up to your knees
And they keep your tootsies warm in the snow

He does not want to show random preference
He is rather easily perplexed
So one of each pair
He chooses to wear
He puts different ones on both his hind legs

As you see they show all sorts of heroes
There is Elvis better known as The King
And just for a snigger
He is partnered with Tigger
Who we all know is a wonderful thing

There is Homer in lots of strange poses
Jack gave them all names at the start
Drinking beer Standing there
Dancing wild I don’t care
And of course there is also Bad Bart

Del Boy stars in a UK TV show
And Popeye begins as an advert for spinach
Unlike cool Spiderman
He yam what he yam
AnElephant thinks this is a good time to finish

Posted in Daft Rhymes, humour | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Up in the Morning and out to School

The Generation Game by Phil Burns

The Generation Game by Phil Burns

AnElephantCant really stop laughing
He goes back to school for a day
He is all excited
At being invited
The kids want to hear what he has to say

In a class of 30 7-year olds
He is given a bit of a grilling
They think he is dumb
But he has such fun
The whole visit is wonderfully thrilling

He tells how he approaches his writing
Just pour it out don’t stop to think
Get it all onto paper
Then correct it later
They ask him what if you write in ink
AnElephant and some smart folk

AnElephant and some smart folk

There are many insightful questions
Like are you really so old
Do you have a daughter
Do you know Harry Potter
Why is ice cream so cold

He talks about Scott and Stevenson
They all know about Robert Burns
To a Haggis To a Mouse
Tam O’Shanter To a Louse
These children all talk and he learns

The idea is to bring interesting people
To explain to the class what they do
A violin teacher an engineer
A chiropractor oh dear
How on earth did AnElephant slip through

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For Richer or Pooh-er

Can a Kangaroo Poo by Phil Burns

Can a Kangaroo Poo by Phil Burns

AnElephantCant say he’s certain
If this question should be discussed with you
Sometimes it‘s not good
It may even be rude
To ask where all the animals pooh

We all know that the woods are a jungle
Where the poor rabbit is used by the bear
Do gooses do it in water
They really shouldn’t oughter
And do duckies doo doo as they fly through the air

It is bound to be the plan that a kangaroo can
And probably a toucan can too
But what about frogs
Armadillos and hogs
And those upside down things that hang in the zoo

Then there’s Winnie the Bear with Pooh in his name
And Tigger the bouncy striped cat
Does Winnie Pooh Pooh
And Heffalump too
Hee haw Eeyore he always asks that

The same question arises with pee-pee
You’d be impressed by a buffalo flow
A pelican can pee
But a pecan can he?
Nah he’s a nut so probably no

AnElephantCant pretend he’s an expert
There are creatures he has never knowed
The California Newt
Unless that’s a fruit
And bufo bufo the common toad toad

When AnElephant was just a wee piccolo
He could not have a pet in the house
Not even a dog
So he made a hedgehog
By sticking a thousand toothpicks onto a mouse

So he sadly ends up none the wiser
About the toiletry habits of the gnus
Do meeces wee wee for free
Behind a rock or a tree
AnElephant goes to the rest room for a snooze

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The Fence – Friday Fictioneers

AnElephantCant believe it
Another week has flown by
He needs an idea
For the Fictioneers
So that he does not get left high and dry

 Just write a 100 word story about this picture prompt.

Copyright Sarah Ann Hall

Copyright Sarah Ann Hall

Okay, guys, looks like this is it.
They are coming back again.
I suppose it was inevitable, now the weather has cleared.
They look as though they mean business this time.
They have a lot of equipment, most of it fatal to our species.
And not just the hand held weapons that rip us apart.
No, the chemicals do the real damage.
Those of us who got through the fence should be safe.
But it looks all over for the ones in here.
Good luck and goodbye, my brothers.
Yep, they are loading their sprays with herbicide.
WMDs for weeds.

Posted in Daft Rhymes, Friday Fictioneer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 33 Comments

The Same Difference

The Same Difference by Phil Burns

The Same Difference by Phil Burns

AnElephantCant understand what is different
Everything appears to be just the same
The same place the same time
The same hopeless wee rhyme
He plays the same rules and the same futile game

AnElephantCant understand what is different
He does the same things he always has done
Writes the occasional poem
Hides himself in his home
And pretends he is still having fun

AnElephantCant understand what is different
The same sun still comes up every day
It still hangs around
Behind the same heavy dark cloud
While he stumbles in the same disarray

AnElephantCant understand what is different
Each night is as dark as before
With the same lack of light
To alleviate the fright
As he waits for the same dawn once more

AnElephantCant understand what is different
He hears the same songs and tastes the same tastes
He walks in the same rain
But he feels different pain
It is not the same life he must face

AnElephant now understands what is different
He lives in a whole different world
With a quite different view
With no indifferent you
AnElephant has lost his beautiful girl

Posted in Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , | 26 Comments