Liar Liar

two faced

two faced

Liar Liar

I would rather not take office.
This is the response of the leader of the UK’s largest political party, when asked if he would do a deal with the Scottish National Party.
Less than 8 months after a campaign throughout which he stood with the Tories and promised we were ‘Better Together’, he tells us he will not honour our votes.
If we decide we want to be represented in the Westminster parliament by democratically elected members of the SNP, then we are disenfranchised.
Mr Milliband is leader of the ‘People’s Party’, pledged to uphold the rights of the working class of the UK.
But, apparently, not if they are Scottish.
Does he believe he can intimidate the people of Scotland, hugely empowered by last year’s referendum?
Regardless of how they voted, the Scots got involved to a degree unseen in living memory.
And they liked it.
So what is their message to this man?
Do they believe anything he says?
Or do they consider him a two-faced, bare-faced liar?
We will see on Thursday.

Posted in Scottish Stuff, funny and serious | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Time Flies – Sunday Photo Fiction

 AnElephantCant be AnInsect
When you see him it is obvious why
But sometimes he is snug
As a a bug in a rug
And he is often compared to AnElusiveButterfly

This is a weekly invitation to write a short piece of fiction (c. 150 words) based on a photo prompt (below) provided by Alastair.
Just click on the link to see some hopefully hopping histories in response to this week’s excellent prompt.
But please first cast an eye over AnElephant’s plagued parable.

Copyright Al Forbes

Copyright Al Forbes

Time Flies

I approach the little café in the square for the first time in almost two years.
I remember vividly the last time I was here.
I was with her.
We had only known each other a short time when I got the message.
The rules say that I cannot explain anything to anyone, I just go.
I looked into her eyes and promised I would come back for her.
Sometimes my job takes me away for two days, sometimes two months.
This one was long and difficult.
But I made it, just.
Rafa, the proprietor, grins, shakes my hand.
A couple of locals do likewise.
It is a tourist town, I am just another transient.
They are not why I am here.
I want to see her once more.
No, I need to see her.
She is in my heart still, though I never told her how I felt.
So I know she will have moved on, forgotten me, like all the others over the years.
No explanation, no communication, for all this time; I can expect nothing else.
She passes here each evening when she finishes work at the Town Hall.
I watch her approach, as lovely as ever.
She sees me, and smiles.
I know the truth.
Rafa appears.
They embrace and go inside.

Posted in Daft Rhymes, Other Fiction | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

gift wrapped

gift wrapped by anelephantcant

gift wrapped by anelephantcant

when you tell me that you love me
it’s the sound of one hand clapping
devoid of all sincerity
a heartbreak about to happen

when you tell me that you love me
it’s sure as night will follow day
darkness floods throughout my life
a heartbreak is on the way

when you tell me that you love me
I see that sad look in your eyes
I know that I’m forgotten
a heartbreak concealed in lies

when you tell me that you love me
I hear words that don’t sound true
are they now as I suspect
a heartbreak gift-wrapped from you

Posted in Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Carry Out – Friday Fictioneers

AnElephantCant keep this a secret
He sadly has never been to Barcelona
It does look exquisite
But if he goes to visit
He doesn’t know anyone so he is all alone there

Once again it is Friday Fictioneer time.
Our Catalonian Commander Rochelle takes us on a Mediterranean meander to inspire spectacular Spanish stories.
And AnElephant is in a paella trouble.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
That’s it.

© Dee Lovering

© Dee Lovering

Carry Out

The port area is so crowded it is hard to move.
The restaurants and cafes are packed, the quayside lined with tourists watching the fireworks over the bay.
There are twelve of us, working in pairs.
We have strict limits on what we can do.
Karate is my thing.
I can immobilise silently and without permanent damage in more ways than I can count.
So I run interference.
To ensure the client gets the best product, undamaged.
My partner is well-built, good-looking in a nondescript sort of way.
Doesn’t look at all odd carrying a pretty girl in his arms.

Posted in Daft Rhymes, Friday Fictioneer | Tagged , , , , , , , | 47 Comments

Neigh Problem – Sunday Photo Fiction

AnElephantCant be a human
He is glad to be AnAnimal of course
But he is not a gnu
Or a cute kangaroo
And his ears are too big for a hedgehog or a horse

This is a weekly invitation to write a short piece of fiction (c. 150 words) based on a photo prompt (below) provided by Alastair.
Just click on the link to see some exciting equine epics in response to this week’s excellent prompt.
But please first cast an eye over AnElephant’s nagging narrative.

Copyright Al Forbes

Copyright Al Forbes

Neigh Problem

Ah, the charges I have led.
And the warriors I have carried.
All the greats of my regiment for almost a decade.
I was the most powerful charger of my time, which is why the great fighters sat astride me.
I bulldozed the puny enemy aside, leaving my man to skewer their riders with mighty thrusts of his Cavalry sword.
My ancestors routed thousands of the enemy, in battles across Europe, and as far as the Middle East.
I am very aware of my place in history, for my great-something-grandfather was at Balaclava in 1854.
He, of course, led the heavy cavalry, so was not involved in that monumental disaster.
Do you know that the Light Brigade lost over 300 horses that day, due to the stupidity and arrogance of their generals?
And so I led us into the Battle of Cambrai, in 1917.
Things were different by then.
This was the first ever great tank battle.
We were becoming obsolete in warfare.
I certainly was, after that shell exploded.
But I was held in such high honour that they brought me home.
And stuck my head up on this wall.

Posted in Daft Rhymes, Other Fiction | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

night scene

night scene by anelephantcant

night scene by anelephantcant

Venus has slipped behind the mountains
Jupiter is king of the sky
The moon drifts silent behind a cloud
When I hear a plaintive cry

Somewhere alone in a pine tree
Wearing a smile that once was a scowl
Having flown across that broad dark sea
Sits a hopeful North African Owl

Castor and Pollux are twinkling
Light years from the silky night air
Flickering memories tug at my heart
Remind me we were once a pair

Thoughts as faint as the owl’s soft hoot
Shared loneliness moistens my eye
And then a moment of joyfulness
From the sweet darkness comes a reply

Posted in Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

AnElephant Unglues a little Giant

Jack visits the Zoo by Phil Burns

Jack visits the Zoo by Phil Burns

AnElephantCant create rhymes like he used to
He knows how wibbly wobbly this one looks
He expects to get flak
But he has to go back
To the long ago time when he writes Children’s Books

AnElephant remembers those good old days
At least he does when his memory returns
When he is a young buck
He has the bestest of luck
He meets an amazingly talented guy Mr Fantastic Phil Burns

Now Phil is extraordinarily gifted
Of creative ability he has oodles and oodles
But you see where his heart is
This sensational artist
Just for the kiddies he draws oodles of doodles

Phil can make magic in only an instant
Draw AnElephant in a nod and a wink
But much more importantly
Is the absolute certainty
He produces images that make young uns laugh and then think

So AnElephant just does the easy stuff
He writes a few lines maybe makes up a whole verse
But what really hurts
He has no rhyme for words
So his daft poems go from quite awful to much worse

The Adventures of Jack the little Giant is now an e-book
Which each reader is now welcome to download for free but
If you have the odd penny
He really does not want very many
You can be kind and buy him a tasty fresh peanut

Posted in Daft Rhymes | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments