AnElephantCant remember how many
Of anything it takes to change a light bulb
Because he ain’t too bright
So if you need some light
Stay well clear or he may accidentally squash you to pulp
This is a weekly invitation to write a short piece of fiction (c. 150 words) based on a photo prompt (below) provided by Alastair.
Follow the link to see a discotheque of stories shine a light on your best moves.
But please read AnElephant’s switched on submission first.
Copyright Al Forbes
She sits anxiously sipping tea in her neighbour’s front room.
The police are searching her home and garden again, this time much more thoroughly.
She has given them every detail of her daughter’s appearance.
Her hair and eye colour (blonde, blue), her height (3 feet 3 inches), the clothes and shoes she looked so pretty in, even the plastic birthday jewellery she was wearing for the first time.
Old Rob pats her hand sympathetically, supportively, he has been such a comfort for so long.
He was there to help when they moved in, there when Connie was born, five years ago yesterday, there as a shoulder to cry on when Steve left.
She smiles back gratefully, strained but sincere, and clears the dishes into the kitchen.
At the back door, reflected in the light bulb, lies a single pink bead.
Posted in Daft Rhymes, Other Fiction
Tagged 150 words, beads, birthday present, blue eyed blonde, clear the dishes, cup of tea, disappearance, five years old, flash fiction, kindly neighbour, light bulb, police search, short story
AnElephantCant always be amusing
Although he does like to supply apple pie fun
So since it is Saturday
He decides to just play
And write himself a thoughtful wee Haibun
The Beach by AnElephantCant
He sits wriggling his toes in the sand, drying off in the sun after his swim.
He is deep inside himself, oblivious to his surroundings.
He is roused abruptly from his reverie by the sound of barking.
He smiles as he sees a little spaniel-like dog standing in front of him, tail wagging, a stick at its feet.
It barks again.
The message is clear.
He gets up, laughing, and hurls the stick into the sea.
He sits, the dog gone from his mind, until it barks again.
There it is, tail wagging, stick at its feet!
He laughs aloud, and repeats his previous actions.
A lady appears.
She is significantly older than he is.
To his confused amusement she scolds him shrilly, before calling the dog and walking off indignantly.
The dog casts him a rueful glance.
He settles down again, searching for his train of thought.
Twenty seconds later he hears barking.
He looks down the beach to see the dog standing before a couple reclining in deck chairs.
The stick is at its feet.
The woman gets out of her chair and picks it up.
Posted in Daft Rhymes, france, haibun, humour
Tagged beach, deck chair, dog, haibun, haiku, in the sunshine, japanese, tail wagging, throw a stick
Nelson Mandela July 18, 1918 – December 5 2013
AnElephantCant always be funny
And he can’t always write the best rhyme
But he can say thank you to Nelson Mandela
The greatest man in his lifetime
We remember the man in the green shirt
We remember the smile on his face
We remember he forgave the long hurt
We remember he united a race
Nkosi sikelel’ iAfrika
The words stir this elephant’s heart
Lord, bless Africa
Oh, Nelson, you made a great start
The Lion of Venice in Asolo, 2 Views of Venice
AnElephantCant ever stop travelling
So he spends a short time in idyllic Italy
He only speaks 3 or 4 words
None of them useful nouns or verbs
No one minds they still treat him humongousorially hospitably
He visits friends in the San Martino Hills
With the Alps to the north and views southwards down to Venice
In nearby Val dee Fee
The fickle fairies stay
In rugged highlands where a mythical mystical glen is
The legends recount there are three kinds of fairies
Those who work and those who dance and bring joy
But then somewhat sadly
There are those who behave badly
Their job description says seek out and destroy
Asolo is a medieval walled village
Built on the site of 2,000 year old Roman baths
Your second favourite long-nosed creature
Discovers he loves piles of pasta and plates of pizza
His time here is a bundle of well-fed laughs
They spend one day in the magical city
Of canals and piazzas and bridges
Built back in the days when
The winged Lion of Venice has the power to generate immeasurable riches
But it is not St Marks or the Rialto that impresses
Not the Bridge of Sighs the Doges Palace or great steeples
The food is a treat
And boy AnElephant can eat
But what he loves most about Italy is the people
Except when they get in their cars and drive on the Autostrada.
Mama Mia, they are crazy!!!!!
Posted in Daft Rhymes, humour, travel
Tagged asolo, autostrada, bridge of sighs, bridges, doges palace, grand canal, italy, medieval, pasta, piazza, pizza, rialto, roman baths, san martino, st marks square, val dee fee, valley of fairies, venice, winged lion
AnElephantCant ever go trespassing
He is afraid he gets chased by big dogs
When their teeth are bared
He does get quite scared
To tell you the truth he is even frightened of fierce frogs
Once again it isFriday Fictioneer time.
Where landlord Rochelle rents out rooms to the talented tellers of terrific tales.
And AnAnxiousElephant squats in the basement.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
See Rochelle’s page and other tales here:
AnElephantCant make the link thingy on here work now.
Any ideas, anyone?
Copyright -Randy Mazie
They are a nice friendly bunch in here.
Too many squats are full of low lifes, druggies, scroungers, thieves.
But this one is okay.
I feel quite comfortable here.
It is dry and safe, almost homely.
They are mostly just kids, runaways, teenagers down on their luck.
They help each other, share food and smokes.
They keep the place clean, gather their rubbish and put it in a skip down the street.
It is a shame.
But best get on with it.
The problem is that I hate squatters.
I am actually quite sorry I have to shoot them all.
Posted in Daft Rhymes
Tagged 100 words, druggies, dry and safe, flash fiction, junkies, runaways, scroungers, short story, squat, squatters, teenagers, thieves
Image Used by Kind Permission of Chuck Brown
AnElephantCant produce rhymes on demand
He usually writes haphazardly randomly unorthodoxly
But he makes an exception
Because the person requesting
Is one of his favourite folk and most talented poets on the whole interweblogosphere thingy his sweet friend Roxi
But she sets him a championship challenge
It promises to be heffelumply hard work
She wants him to feature
That oddly bizarre creature
The amazing alphabetically-advanced astonishing Aardvark
Who has a wee tail four legs and a long nose
The tail at the back and the big hooter at the front
Please do not discombobulate
He is just another ungulate
A delightful but distinctly distant cousin of AnElephant
He has an ample album of alliterative aliases
Such as Ant-eater Ant-bear and Ground-pig
And also Ground-hog
But not Ground-toad or Ground-frog
Cos he’s a mammal with clawed feet that help him to dig
He is not the fastest of all Ma Nature’s children
The only time he comes first is in the dictionary
He is more like a pillow
Than a scaly Armadillo
AnElephant is uncertain if he tells this factually or fictionally
There is no more to be said about the Aardvark
He is small and squat and perhaps just a teensy bit boxy
He is not smart or elegant
Like your second-favourite Elephant
But he is lucky enough to be a favourite of Rock ‘n’ Roll Roxi
For reasons beyond his understanding, AnElephantCant link to Roxi’s blog. Please visit at http://roxistclair.com – you will not regret it. Thank you.
Posted in Daft Rhymes, humour
Tagged aardvark, alliteration, alphabetical, antbear, anteater, armadillo, bad puns, dictionary, discombobulate, frog, groundhog, groundpig, ma nature, rhyme, ungulate
AnElephant Joke by Phil Burns
AnElephantCant always stop himself forlornly fretting
This wearisome worry takes all the sun out of sunny
What happens if the girl
The one who rocks his whole world
Abruptly decides he is no longer fantastically funny
She always says he is enormously entertaining
In fact she thinks he is awesomely amusing
But what if say one day
Probably on a grey Monday
She asks him to hush now to let her continue snugly snoozing
He remembers some lovely ladies before her
But he is convinced that there can be no more after
Is he left on his own
To spend his life all alone
If he ever ceases to be a source of light-hearted laughter
When the sparkle dies in her big beautiful eyes
His dreams go up in a pathetic puff of black smoke
He can cash in his chips
If the smile leaves her luscious lips
And the wretched writer has written his last jaundiced joke
So he considers all his preventative possibilities
To ensure his next kiss is never his last kiss
He has not got any money
So he has to be funny
He must get up very early to persistently practice
Now AnElephant reviews what he writes here
He realises there is no room here for gloom here or doom here
He reconsiders because
She is clearly without flaws
And if she loves him she must have a sensationally sincere and spectacularly surreal sense of humour
Posted in Daft Rhymes, humour
Tagged cash in chips, funny rhymes, gloom and doom, jaundiced, jokes, knock knock, laughter, light hearted, puff of smoke, sense of humour, silly worry, why did the chicken