How Not to Parler Francais in One Really Difficult Lesson

 

AnElephantCant teach you to speak French*
But please keep these thoughts in your mind
You can’t eat a futon**
Or sit on a crouton
Unless you have a tres petit behind 

Finding rhymes in French can be quite difficile
For jus d’orange and more so for croissant
Even down in Provence
He has pas de chance
AnElephantCant even spell soupe do poisson

He likes a pastis before dinner
He drinks his café tout noir
A glass of vin blanc
With a slice of jambon
But he stays well away from foie gras

 He enjoys potjevleesch in Picardy
He loves garlic on his cuisses de grenouille
You won’t get him to bouge
From a nice verre de rouge
And cacahuetes just make him go wheeeeee!

Now French toilettes are usually quite sparkling
But there are still the old-fashioned ones too
AnElephantCant
Be interessant
When he has to stand up to pooh down a trou

 This is clearly the end of la leçon
AnElephant has sunk to his normal rude low
He may be impoli
But pas de probleme you see
He may be vieux but he is toujours tres beau!

 
* If anyone cares enough (Meme?), AnElephant will provide a glossary of translations

 **Yes, AnElephant knows! Oui, UnElephant sait bien!

But thought this was funnier than mouton or bouton.
So sue me, you won’t get peanuts!

About AnElephantCant

An artist/writer/poet combination whose blogs reflect an approach to life that celebrates nature and takes a tongue-in-cheek view of most issues. So you get rhymes and doodles, photographs and comment. Irreverent and irrelevant. Occasionally funny, sometimes serious, mostly pointless. https://anelephantcant.me/
This entry was posted in Daft Rhymes, france, humour, Stuff for Children and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to How Not to Parler Francais in One Really Difficult Lesson

  1. emmylgant says:

    Vous êtes trop drôle Monsieur éléphant! Si, si, vraiment! 🙂

    Like

    • UnElephant peut pas faire les vers
      En Francais c’est trop difficile
      Il est désolé
      Mais tristement il sait
      Il n’est qu’un pauvre imbécile

      Like

      • emmylgant says:

        Vous avez trop d’humour
        pour être un imbécile.
        Il est vrai que l’amour
        de la rime vous pousse
        A faire des choix difficiles,
        et souvent inattendus…
        Mon esprit s’émousse,
        et je n’en peux plus.

        Like

        • AnElephantCant continue en cette facon
          He does not want to appear impoli or rude
          Tu piques comme une guepe
          He is out of his depth
          His Francais is just not this good!

          I suspect that you are just being nice now.
          Your French is excellent, what nationality are you, if I may ask?
          And I did enjoy that!

          Like

          • emmylgant says:

            AnElephantCant se trompe
            I am not just being nice.
            My nationality is dual, often a duel
            entre la française et américaine.
            I often skate on thin ice
            but I do what I can.

            On étire la rime beyond its breaking point here. Sorry.
            Je dois dire that my frenglish is only surpassed by my anglicismes.
            Yup. I have fun with this too.

            We seem to have run out of reply spaces here.
            But do visit again.
            I will certainly come back to you.
            Hugs

            Like

  2. ~Lady Day says:

    lol..Ahhh…I am s very glad I came to hang out here a few moments…serious. You made me laugh-cry. I am so honoured to be able to read of your adventures. Thank you so very much for sharing so much with us all.

    Like

  3. mixedupmeme says:

    Found the glossary. 🙂

    I can understand an Irishman
    I can understand a Greek
    I can understand an Armenian
    I know of what I speak

    I can understand a China-man
    And even an Arab Sheik
    I can understand an Italian
    Though they are a bit unique

    I can understand a Roman
    Though the language is antique
    I can understand a Scotchman
    Just adore his technique

    But to understand anelephantcant
    (Well, I do love his physique)
    But to understand anelephantcant
    It would take more than a week

    Like

  4. chiquitar says:

    Your rhymes always give me a smile. Even on one of my bad days! Much obliged.

    Like

  5. Alastair says:

    Hahaha

    AnElephant really made me laugh with this one. 😀

    I notice you come from Scotland ,,, what part? My father was born in Glasgow and grew up in Dundee, so I’ve been to Dundee a few times.

    Like

    • West coast mainly, Glasgow sometimes, bit nomadic, gotta find water in the dry season!
      Dundee, home of Oor Wullie and Desperate Dan!
      Or Apache Country, as it is known over this side!

      Like

      • Alastair says:

        Definitely Oor Wullie, got a few of them. Got a few of The Broons as well 😀 Didn’t realise Desperate Dan came from Dundee,.

        I imagine AnElephant is quite happy in the winter with the rains 😀

        Like

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