AnElephantCant get over some bad news
He confesses that this has not thrilled him
He has to own up
He’s not very grown up
Now he’s been told bendy straws are for children
You may ask yourself the obvious question
Does he really need one of those
But he gets lots of abuse
When he sooks up his juice
Using only his proboscian nose
He has a surprising adventure
In Portland in awesome Oregon
He requests an OJ
She responds what’d you say
She must think that AnElephant is for-egin!
He goes into a café and politely, in his cultured Scottish accent, enquires whether they have fresh Orange Juice.
The young lady smiles at him, turns to a gentleman seated behind the counter and says:
‘Viktor, you speak French, don’t you?’
‘Un petit peu’, says Viktor, coming over and smiling helpfully at a baffled Elephant.
‘Je puis vous aider, Monsieur?’ he asks.
(Can I help you, you nuisance?)
Fortunately UnElephant has lived and worked in France, so he understands the kind man’s question.
In slightly startled, but beautifully enunciated French he repeats his question.
The nice chap produces a bottle of ‘jus d’orange’.
‘And would you like something to eat?’ he asks, still in French.
Now AnElephant, sad to say, has not the foggiest idea of how to translate Blueberry Muffin.
When in France he eats croissants for breakfast.
So if he ever knew the French word for muffin, he has long forgotten it.
He is a Scot.
Fruit is anathema to his race.
We eat the things that eat fruit.
With his trunk, somewhat shamefaced, he indicates his choice of comestible.
And life goes on.
Sometimes a straw comes in a wrapper
AnElephant thinks this is a grand thing
He tears one end off
He gives a great puff
And fires the sleeve like a torpedo at his companion
Back in Scotland he is allowed much more leeway
He hopes his US friends don’t think he’s a girly
Please don’t be offended
He likes straws that are bendy
But if he behaves well he’s given one that is curly