The Straw that Broke AnElephant’s Back

A Bendy Straw

A Bendy Straw

AnElephantCant get over some bad news
He confesses that this has not thrilled him
He has to own up
He’s not very grown up
Now he’s been told bendy straws are for children

You may ask yourself the obvious question
Does he really need one of those
But he gets lots of abuse
When he sooks up his juice
Using only his proboscian nose

He has a surprising adventure
In Portland in awesome Oregon
He requests an OJ
She responds what’d you say
She must think that AnElephant is for-egin!

He goes into a café and politely, in his cultured Scottish accent, enquires whether they have fresh Orange Juice.
The young lady smiles at him, turns to a gentleman seated behind the counter and says:
‘Viktor, you speak French, don’t you?’
‘Un petit peu’, says Viktor, coming over and smiling helpfully at a baffled Elephant.
‘Je puis vous aider, Monsieur?’ he asks.
(Can I help you, you nuisance?)
Fortunately UnElephant has lived and worked in France, so he understands the kind man’s question.
In slightly startled, but beautifully enunciated French he repeats his question.
The nice chap produces a bottle of ‘jus d’orange’.
‘And would you like something to eat?’ he asks, still in French.
Now AnElephant, sad to say, has not the foggiest idea of how to translate Blueberry Muffin.
When in France he eats croissants for breakfast.
So if he ever knew the French word for muffin, he has long forgotten it.
And blueberry?
He is a Scot.
Fruit is anathema to his race.
We eat the things that eat fruit.
With his trunk, somewhat shamefaced, he indicates his choice of comestible.
And life goes on.

Sometimes a straw comes in a wrapper
AnElephant thinks this is a grand thing
He tears one end off
He gives a great puff
And fires the sleeve like a torpedo at his companion

Back in Scotland he is allowed much more leeway
He hopes his US friends don’t think he’s a girly
Please don’t be offended
He likes straws that are bendy
But if he behaves well he’s given one that is curly

Jack and Curly Straws

Jack and Curly Straws

About AnElephantCant

An artist/writer/poet combination whose blogs reflect an approach to life that celebrates nature and takes a tongue-in-cheek view of most issues. So you get rhymes and doodles, photographs and comment. Irreverent and irrelevant. Occasionally funny, sometimes serious, mostly pointless. https://anelephantcant.me/
This entry was posted in Daft Rhymes, humour and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to The Straw that Broke AnElephant’s Back

  1. Scriptor Obscura says:

    Your rhymes make me smile. Your blog makes me smile. I love your stories. 🙂

    L’Elephante a un bon blog. 😉 *Hope I said that right, I’m not French* 🙂

    Like

    • AnElephantCant forget his manners
      Il n’a jamais repondu
      To your very kind comment
      Tu es vraiment charmant
      AnElephant will treat you to a nice fondue

      Apologies, replies sometimes get lost when in transit
      But thank you, much appreciated

      Like

  2. emmylgant says:

    Emmy loves strawthingies
    For missiles a gogo
    for triangle weaving
    and slthering, squirming
    wormies on the go.
    Bendy straws for you,
    whichever straws for me.
    …and no muffin. merci.

    Like

  3. utesmile says:

    This is so funny, I lov eit. specially your translation: ‘Je puis vous aider, Monsieur?’ he asks.
    (Can I help you, you nuisance?), I should take you for translating next time……perfect.
    Mind you I need a translator when in Scotland too, I have to listen very carefully to understand it correctly.
    and anyway why not get simple chocolate muffins, the word chocolate might be the same in each language….. 🙂

    Like

  4. lilyboat says:

    “We eat the things that eat fruit.” This gave me a good laugh! Thank you 🙂

    Like

    • AnElephantCant explain the Scots diet
      Or our idea of nutritional balance
      We like to eat something icky
      Preferably sweet and quite sticky
      And to have more calories as backup in both hands

      Like

  5. Alastair says:

    Haha you really must grin and guffaw
    When you blast the wind through the straw
    And it smacks of a mosquito
    This magnificent torpedo
    Then drops harmlessly to the floor

    When I moved to Leicester for a while, I took my kids into Maccy Dees to get them away from the Sociopath. They did the usual and fired at each other and I was asked to keep my “unruly children under control. This is an eating place not a playing place” So my response was “sorry, I’m not from round here the rules must be different” If looks could kill, I don’t think even AnElephant’s hide could have saved anyone.

    Like

  6. hehehehe good one 😉

    Like

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