Making a Molehill out of a Mountain

Beinn a’Chlaidheimh, a Scottish mountain, by Phil Burns

Beinn a’Chlaidheimh, a Scottish mountain, by Phil Burns

AnElephantCant climb up high mountains
He is not built like a svelte Mountain Goat
He does have strange views
On hearing the news
Beinn a’Chlaidheimh1 is now two feet short

It was always considered a Munro2
Which you a’ ken* must be 3,000 feet
Now technology says
It is 30 inches less
That’s enough to make a poor wee Ben greet

AnElephantCant help but feel sorry
For a mountain that’s been treated this way
Aw jings and oh no
I’m no’ a Munro
I am just a wee Corbett3 they say

But there are still 282 Munros
If you fancy going out Munro bagging
Each 900 plus meters
They quickly deplete us
Leaving all of our saggy bits sagging

But is there a story behind Beinn a’Chlaidheimh?
Is there something that gave it the chop?
Did some UFO plummet
And slice off the summit
To leave it a tad short on top?

Is it really the tallest of mountains
With its peak somewhere off in the stars?
Did a little green chap
Give its apex a zap
To build his own Munro on Mars?

1 The Hill of the Sword, a mountain in Scotland
2 A Munro is a mountain over 3,000 feet high
3
A Corbett is a mountain between 2,500 and 3,000 feet

*a’ ken – all know

 

About AnElephantCant

An artist/writer/poet combination whose blogs reflect an approach to life that celebrates nature and takes a tongue-in-cheek view of most issues. So you get rhymes and doodles, photographs and comment. Irreverent and irrelevant. Occasionally funny, sometimes serious, mostly pointless. https://anelephantcant.me/
This entry was posted in Daft Rhymes, humour, Scottish Stuff, funny and serious and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to Making a Molehill out of a Mountain

  1. Penny L Howe says:

    This is great. What a wonderful way to think of a mountain being a little too short (ufos indeed, lol). Mountain out of a Molehill for certain. Only an elephantcan’t could come up with this clever and whimsical method of introducing (thru his rhymes and words), the scottish manner and mindset of one of the many natural beauties of Scotland. 🙂

    Like

  2. julespaige says:

    I think you are better at making such wonderful farce than our American groundhogs are at predicting spring. We’ve two local ‘lodgers’ and as the tradition goes, and at the moment I can’t remember which is which…if seeing his (or her) shadow predicts and early or late spring.
    This year we had conflicting reports, one said early spring the other said ‘it’s delayed’.

    Nothing at all to do with your verse I suppose, except that a groundhog is an animal.
    Cheers!

    Like

    • AnElephantCant deny it
      He is as funny as he is bonnie
      But he has to say
      There is no way
      He can find a rhyme for Punxsutawney

      Like

      • julespaige says:

        🙂

        Clever Elephant. Made me laugh out loud!

        From the Urban Dictionary:
        The Meaning of the name Punxsutawney:
        Small town in Pennsylvania about 80 miles Northeast of Pittsburgh. Home of Punxsutawney Phil, the famous groundhog (woodchuck). Every Feb. 2 (Candlemas), there is a huge gathering at Gobbler’s Knob to see if Phil will see his shadow. This predicts whether there will be 6 more weeks of Winter or and early Spring. The nickname for the town is “Punxsy”. “The Ramblers”, a singing group in the 1950s, had a pop song called “Punxsutawney Rose”. The word Punxsutawney is originally a Native American word. Punxsutawney was first settled by the Delaware Indians in 1723 and its name comes from the Indian name for the location “ponksad-uteney” which means the “town of the sandflies.” The name woodchuck also has Indian origins, coming from the legend of “Wojak, the groundhog.” The groundhog’s full name is actually “Punxsutawney Phil, Seer of Seers, Sage of Sages, Prognosticator of Prognosticators and Weather Prophet Extraordinary.” It was so proclaimed by the “Punxsutawney Groundhog Club” in 1887, the same year they declared Punxsutawney to be the weather capital of the world. The 1993 film “Groundhogs Day” starring Bill Murray was based on life in Punxsutawney.

        I would have just put in the link, but the second entry was rather unpleasant, an no need to be relayed to such a kind-hearted Elephant.

        Like

  3. Mountains are big indeed… but one thing bigger than mountains and bigger than life is my favorite pachyderm 😉

    Like

  4. Matilda struggled to craft a short rhyme,
    Thought she needed it to jump start her mind.
    But alas there’s no way
    She can learn Gaelic in a day
    To make heads or tails of Beinn a’Chlaidheimh.

    “The Hiker’s Guide to the Pronunciation of the Gaelic Tongue” (1897)
    pairs Chlaidheimh with straidheimh.
    “Mountain, Moor and Loch” (1894) pronounces the sword loch
    Loch-na-Clive.
    Hamish Brown later has a say and in 1980
    says the sword hill is pronounced ben a clay.
    What’s a girl to say!

    *“The Hiker’s Guide to the Pronunciation of the Gaelic Tongue,” Scottish Mountaineering Club Journal, Volume 4 (1897) looks like great fun to read aloud. But it assumes a knowledge of Gaelic pronunciation! It’s available in Google books as are the other two sources mentioned.

    Like

    • Lots of people try to learn
      Gaelic and find they hate it
      That is why AnElephant
      Thought he would translate it
      Or have you forgotten
      The notes at the bottom?
      But sweet Matilda
      Decided to build a
      Brilliant rhyme
      One more time

      Thanks and hugs

      Like

  5. emmylgant says:

    Is it time to re-triangulate
    Or perhaps re-calibrate?
    To avoid confusion
    Just lower expectations.
    🙂

    Like

  6. All those who talk of doing the Munroes have done one more than they needed to – but I guess they do it for fun anyway…… 🙂

    Like

  7. Alastair says:

    It seems the top has been lopped off
    But walking up there will make your voice shrill
    When you finally reach the top
    And discover you have to stop
    You’ll still call it a mountain and not a hill

    Like

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