The Phone – Friday Fictioneers

AnElephantCant deny it
This week he is right on the ball
When he sees the phone
He hears everyone groan
He is about to make a trunk call!

It is Friday Fictioneer time again.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on a picture prompt (below).
That’s it.

Copyright Danny Bowman

Copyright Danny Bowman

Twenty five years and I still miss your mum every day.
Aye, she was so happy too, moving into that new house.
That’s what killed her, you know, all the exertion and stress of moving.
And if the ambulance had been ten minutes earlier they could have saved her.
Imagine, eh, if that phone hadn’t been vandalised by some idiot just the previous night.
You must have nearly seen who did it!
I remember you charging out in a terrible mood, angry at leaving all your old pals behind.
You really grew up that day.
Looked after me ever since as if you blamed yourself.

About AnElephantCant

An artist/writer/poet combination whose blogs reflect an approach to life that celebrates nature and takes a tongue-in-cheek view of most issues. So you get rhymes and doodles, photographs and comment. Irreverent and irrelevant. Occasionally funny, sometimes serious, mostly pointless.
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73 Responses to The Phone – Friday Fictioneers

  1. kz says:

    oh my, this broke my heart.. but brilliantly told.


  2. Sarah Ann says:

    Hmm. I hope dad doesn’t think too hard about what he just said. Great story – so much said so tightly.


  3. Abraham says:

    Excellent piece!


  4. Lyn says:

    This had me gasping in shock. I hope his Dad doesn’t find out. They’ve both suffered so much – the son even more so. Living with guilt for twenty-five years is punishment enough. Well written and great take on the prompt.


  5. Hannah says:

    I enjoyed this sad story!


  6. JackieP says:

    Really well done! I laughed at the ‘trunk’ part, but the other one is so sad.


  7. sandraconner says:

    Both of these pieces are just terrific. Great job all the way around.


  8. I love the subtlety of this, all the story that’s implied but not explicitly said. Great job.


  9. petrujviljoen says:

    A lot of story in a 100 words. I’m amazed.


  10. denmother says:

    Guilt is a true motivator.


  11. troy P. says:

    Spot. On. Perfect play off the prompt!


  12. That was sone kind of story.. quite a few grizzly details to be filled in by us. Great take.


  13. Joe Owens says:

    I cannot imagine trying to deal with that type of feeling for the rest of your life. What a dramatic piece.


  14. Trudy says:

    Ouch! A whole lifetime isn’t going to take that guilt away is it? Really good story.


  15. EagleAye says:

    Karma can be really nasty sometimes. Great take on the prompt!


  16. A “trunk call” and as an elephant is want to do – a story that one can never forget. A terrific twosome. Randy


  17. claireful says:

    You can’t beat a bit of dramatic monologue now and again. A chilling story.


  18. nightlake says:

    neat. well written


  19. Linda Vernon says:

    The poem was as delightful as the prose was poignant. We got our money’s worth out of you from this one! 😀


  20. Good story, and the elephant poem was great. I actually now suspect the elephant broke the phone…


  21. Loved the trunk call and the terrible twist at the end of the story. Well done.



  22. wmqcolby says:

    Thanks, Elephant! I liked the poem and the story. Two for the price of one. Neat!


  23. Penny L Howe says:

    Talk about yin yang here. I guess your trunk calls do balance out the sadness of your story! Both are excellent of course, as always! 🙂


  24. emmylgant says:

    Superbly crafted short short.
    AnElephantCan make me gasp consistently with shock, delight, dismay,within the last five words of his stories. Amazing storyteller. Vraiment genial ton histoire et tres troublante… Ce qui la rend encore plus riche. Bravo.


  25. Yes, awful implications in this well-crafted tale. Loved the poem as well.


  26. julespaige says:

    And that my friend Elephant is why my family got involved with our volunteer Fire/aide service. Father-in-law he should rest (now) had heart issues. And hubby wanted to be able to not wait for assistance. Always good to at least know CPR and basic first aid. Even though they keep changing the program (CPR). Some family members are also state ceritified EMT’s (Emergency Medical Technicians.)

    I’m thinking I like this prompt and might write another piece, though I haven’t yet. I’ve only got the Vamp piece up. I’ll let you know if I do. Cheers.


  27. Carrie says:

    Loved both submissions (poem and flash) for different reasons. 🙂


  28. How awful to live with the guilt of a foolish decision made as a young person.
    Oh, wait, I’ve been doing that my whole life 😉


  29. Kwadwo says:

    Humorous poem about the elephant making a trunk call.
    Lovely play on words.

    I’m not sure I got the story right. Was the person in question the one who vandalized the phone and has been feeling guilty about their mom’s death?


  30. kdillmanjones says:

    A great story, leaving me kind of weeping.


  31. Dear Elephant,
    Not sure which I liked better, your story or your trunk call verses. 😉 One made me sad the other made me laugh out loud.


  32. Shreyank says:

    a tragic and chilling tale ! and as Alastair points it out the implication are awful.


  33. yarnspinnerr says:

    Tragic and so true. The window of time available for recovery is short in cases of heart attack.

    Its always the delay. Here the traffic jams kill more people than heart attacks.

    A very innovative use of the prompt. Hats off.


  34. Alastair says:

    Oh dear. The implications of that are awful. 😦 What a tragic story, caused out of anger. Excellent story again.

    Suppose it could have been worse – you could have made the trunk call in your trunks 😉


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