The Dress – Friday Fictioneers

AnElephantCant really help it
His stories just seem full of gloom
This week he has tried
To see the bright side
But once again it is laden with doom

 It is Friday Fictioneer time again.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on a picture prompt (below).
That’s it.

Copyright Janet Webb

Copyright Janet Webb

Her dress hangs neatly from the balcony.
She does not care that the neighbours can see her standing in her underwear, her best underwear, worn specially for the occasion.
She is indifferent to the window-banging and catcalls from the nearby offices.
These things no longer matter.

The air-conditioning clatters and wheezes noisily.
The children – his children – run wild inside, loud and uncontrollable.
He snores in his chair, empty bottles at his feet.
She had been so stupid to fall for a widower’s lies.
No more.

She slips her dress over her head and skips happily off to a new life.

About AnElephantCant

An artist/writer/poet combination whose blogs reflect an approach to life that celebrates nature and takes a tongue-in-cheek view of most issues. So you get rhymes and doodles, photographs and comment. Irreverent and irrelevant. Occasionally funny, sometimes serious, mostly pointless. https://anelephantcant.me/
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78 Responses to The Dress – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Sarah Ann says:

    Ouch. Are a widower’s lies worse than anyone else’s? I’m glad she’s skipping away and you didn’t leave her there.

    Like

  2. Lady Lovely says:

    A wonderful story here. I believe it did end up with a happy ending, no doom here my friend.

    Like

  3. kz says:

    well good for her! ^^

    Like

  4. wmqcolby says:

    Sad, really. Well-told and rich in story!

    Like

  5. neenslewy says:

    I thought she was going to jump from your verse introduction – very glad she didn’t. I imagine her new life will be fulfilling. Vivid descriptions, an enjoyable read.

    Like

  6. 40again says:

    I wondered where you were going with this tale, but I am a sucker for a happy ending. Or is it?
    Well done
    Dee

    Like

  7. betarules says:

    I hope it’s a better life. (RogRites)

    Like

  8. John Hardy Bell says:

    I, for one, dug the last line!!! Well done!

    Like

  9. Joe Owens says:

    It is too easy to promise the world and deliver a big lot of trouble. Good for her!

    Like

  10. elappleby says:

    Not gloomy at all, she has learnt her lesson and will stay away from child-laden widowers in the future!

    Like

  11. I read it as though she were the dead wife saying goodbye to the man she’s left behind. The man who promised to take of the family, of her and who destroyed them all. NBut it was not as gloomy as all that, there was hope and new life in there as well.

    Like

  12. emmylgant says:

    As always AnElephant spins a tale that surprises and makes us wonder. A beautiful gown wasted on a dream that did not fly; a new beginning that is an end or an ending that is a new beginning. Let each reader decide.
    The gift is that AnElephantCan make us read his 100 words more than twice and savor each one.
    Bravo et merci pour cette petite histoire nebuleuse.

    Like

  13. yarnspinnerr says:

    Wonderfully lucid. 🙂

    Like

  14. Let her skip over this way! Good story.

    Like

  15. Linda Vernon says:

    I have a feeling she’s going to jump. Otherwise it wouldn’t be gloomy. But then again maybe the gloom is because it’s his dress? (No just kidding). I really enjoyed this either way!

    Like

  16. Mystikel says:

    You painted so vivid a picture of her world in so few words. You almost can’t blame her for running away though as a mom I’m kind of worried about the kids.

    Like

  17. Yup not gloomy, unless of course you are the drunken widower who has to wake up to his own responsibilities, gloomy for him, maybe, and for his children.
    Okay, so on second thought maybe it is a little gloomy.

    Like

  18. colonialist says:

    Interesting to see the different interpretations of readers regarding the skipping off. I thought she had chosen the fast route down, but now I’m not so sure.

    Like

  19. That’s what called marketing. There are worse kind of widowers… Just think of Bluebird

    Like

  20. Penny L Howe says:

    Hmmmm, gloomy? No. True to life? Sometimes! A happy ending, debatable, depending on her level of intelligence (which is questionable here)! Great story as always! 🙂 xo

    Like

  21. misskzebra says:

    I have a lot of friends who are getting married this summer, and I hope none of them have to make this choice.

    Like

  22. Hope she’s not skipping over the balcony, darling.

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  23. So, I loved the first two paragraphs. The last line, however, seemed too cheery for the rest of it. My gut reaction is that rather than skipping happily off to a new life, she ought to slip the dress on and take the fire escape to a new life (maybe – “Slipping the dress over her head, she took the fire escape to something better than this.”)

    She just seems to jaded to skip or do anything “happily.”

    Like

    • What a truly bizarre comment!
      AnElephantCant understand why you impose your own ‘jaded’ mindset on his character.
      Since making her decision she has rediscovered her old joie de vivre, and dances out the door with a smile on her lips and a song in her heart!
      She certainly does not sneak down the fire escape as though she were ashamed of herself or her actions.
      But thank you for taking the time to read and comment, much appreciated.

      Like

  24. yarrpirate says:

    Head south lass! Never trust these widowers! She might fall prey again though…

    Like

  25. Honie Briggs says:

    Doomed no more! I like the use of sounds. I could hear the scene. – window-banging and catcalls, the air-conditioner’s clatter, wildly squealing children, snore of the oblivious, a clink as bottles at his feet fell over, and even the swoosh of the dress as it slipped over her head. She skipped out the door and not over the balcony, right?

    Like

  26. Sounds like she got way more than she bargained for with that marriage. I like the image of her skipping happily off.

    Like

  27. Lynda says:

    I seem to have that very same problem with these prompts. I want to make a happy ending and it all goes south… Oh well, its all for fun, and your story was great! So what do we want? Happy endings or a well written story? It is the choice we make.

    Like

  28. Im glad she is skipping not falling. Great turn at the end
    happy week Miss Elephant

    Like

  29. acflory says:

    I’ll be honest I was bracing myself for a graceful swan dive in her best bib and tucker. So glad she just left that lazy sod to look after his own kids! 🙂

    Like

  30. What an unexpected inspiration on the dress! She made a choice that will hopefully change the dreariness of her life into something better. Good job.

    janet

    Like

  31. Alastair says:

    Sometimes people can’t see what they are doing to other people. They don’t see the way that they are hurting the people that they love or the the ones that used to love them. So they have to take the plunge and start a new life, leaving everything behind.

    This ends with a happy ending I think it is a great story

    Like

  32. Hannah says:

    I agree with Rochelle that she has chosen to turn the leaf. It is probably better than to have stayed. Great story!

    Like

  33. Sandra says:

    I thought this sounded like a wonderfully optimistic story. Go girl! Well done.

    Like

  34. Dear Elephant,
    I’m not sure I’d call your story gloomy. Although her life had become unbearable you could say she made a happy ending for herself. Nice one.
    shalom,
    Rochelle

    Like

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