The Hunt – Friday Fictioneers

AnElephantCant tell you how excited he is
It is Wednesday Fictioneer time again
Please don’t be confused
He just tries to amuse
With this happy tale about goats in the garden

Actually, as you well know, it is Friday Fictioneer time.
We enter the domain of the Empress Rochelle, who graciously permits our feeble offerings to be laid at her feet.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on a picture prompt (below).
That’s it.

Copyright – Randy Mazie

Copyright – Randy Mazie

The Hunt

He studies the reports until his eyes ache.
He calls in favours, offers bribes and threats, begs and buys information from police and local press.
Finally he understands the man who attacked his daughter.
And all the other young girls.
He calculates where he will strike next.
He waits and watches.
He sees a man emerge from the shadows and moves quickly.
But not quickly enough.
The blow to his knee drops him to the ground.
They surround him, bats in hand.
The next blow renders him unconscious, so he never hears the words.
He won’t ever harm another child.

About AnElephantCant

An artist/writer/poet combination whose blogs reflect an approach to life that celebrates nature and takes a tongue-in-cheek view of most issues. So you get rhymes and doodles, photographs and comment. Irreverent and irrelevant. Occasionally funny, sometimes serious, mostly pointless. https://anelephantcant.me/
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47 Responses to The Hunt – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Mystic says:

    That was quite a hard read. Specially the end. But nuanced and gripping at the same time. Well written.

    Like

  2. Sarah Ann says:

    Oh wow. Very suprising and sad ending. Fantastic writing.

    Like

  3. annisik51 says:

    Well written in so few words. Even a twist in the tale.

    Like

  4. Penny L Howe says:

    I go along with Doug. Excellently written! 🙂 xo

    Like

  5. erinleary says:

    What a shame…it should have ended better for him.

    Like

  6. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear AEC,

    This was your best story so far. Nuanced, layered, terse yet full of detail, it carriend me along until the unforeseen twist at the end. Good job.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

  7. julespaige says:

    Looks like something that could be taken right out of the daily news. Injustice of justice.

    The rule of ‘an eye for an eye’ wasn’t meant to blindside anyone. It really was to control the amount of wrong justice metered out. As in those ancient times if a man manhandling and hurt his neighbors daughter, the price to pay could go on for generations. An eye for and eye was meant to be; let the puishment fit the crime. So if a man stole his neighbors goat, he just had to replace the goat and not give up his first born as well.

    Like

  8. Interesting piece. Nothing like a lynch mob!

    Like

  9. lewiscave says:

    Sad but extremely entertaining. Thanks

    Like

  10. neenslewy says:

    Lump – stuck – throat – a terrible subject but strong writing – I hate to think of people doing anything like this, I am glad there is retribution in his capture.

    Like

  11. wow, very intense! feel so bad for the guy 😦

    Like

  12. Tough piece but made its point very well. A surprising turn of events excellently handled..

    Like

  13. Shreyank says:

    he was at wrong place at the right time..

    Like

  14. nightlake says:

    Terrible ending to mob justice..realistic story

    Like

  15. zookyworld says:

    A surprise to me at the end, the guy seemed to be so careful. But others were hunting, too. Sad that they got the wrong guy.

    Like

  16. Mistakes easily become fatal when wielding a bat

    Like

  17. RoSy says:

    A vigilante I’d look the other way for.

    Like

  18. wmqcolby says:

    Great take on the prompt. Originality. Love it!

    Like

  19. This is such a case against what we call ‘jungle justice’ in Nigeria. Giving him up to the authority would have served as a deterrent to some others who may want to tow his path. But, now we have a misplaced justice.

    Like

  20. Dee says:

    Powerful illustration of how mob rule goes wrong and that it’s not always the bad guy who gets the rough justice.

    Like

  21. If that’s your idea of amusing (per your poem), I’ll pass on anything darker. A terrible tale all around–that the father planned “justice”, that others did as well, and that they got the wrong man.

    janet

    Like

  22. Carrie says:

    vigilante justice at it’s finest…sadly, not always against who deserves it.

    I was a little confused if it was the father getting beaten so it could you some clarification

    Like

  23. JKBradley says:

    I’d like to think he could still hear it as the hot blackness swirls around then squeezes his soul down, down, down.

    Like

  24. Linda Vernon says:

    Gripping and gritty tale. Completely unexpected given the tone of your introductory poem! HA! But oh how I love surprises! 😀

    Like

  25. emmylgant says:

    Gripping story. Once again, things are not as they seem.

    Like

  26. Kwadwo says:

    This is why I am totally against mob justice. Every now and then, innocent people get hurt.

    Like

  27. Joe Owens says:

    I wasnlt sure if the point of view change in the middle. Poor dad, trying to do his job and gets wrongly punished. Proof vigilantes are not a good idea.

    Like

  28. vbholmes says:

    An example of misplaced justice or a has he deceived himself? Either way, powerful story.

    Like

  29. Alastair says:

    I would be there as well, only I would have made sure that the second hit would have been in the knackers.

    This is a very well told story. You can feel the father’s vehemence with it

    Like

  30. That’s quite a contrast from the man at the beginning, studying, investigating and trying to understand, to the attitude of revenge and justice at the end. Great job.

    Like

  31. Sandra says:

    The way I read this, the watching waiting father is mistaken for the guilty party. So a victim of the kind of rough justice that he was planning to execute? Well done.

    Like

  32. Gabriella says:

    Very well-done! We feel like clubbing this bloke too!

    Like

  33. Dear Elephant,

    This one is stunning. The way the father plots and plans and then goes for the bastard. I really love this one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  34. summerstommy2 says:

    Wow, brutal stuff. Sadly a reality in some places. Very well done.

    Like

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