The Squat – Friday Fictioneers

AnElephantCant ever go trespassing
He is afraid he gets chased by big dogs
When their teeth are bared
He does get quite scared
To tell you the truth he is even frightened of fierce frogs

Once again it isFriday Fictioneer time.
Where landlord Rochelle rents out rooms to the talented tellers of terrific tales.
And AnAnxiousElephant squats in the basement.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
That’s it.
See Rochelle’s page and other tales here:
http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2013/12/04/6-december-2013/
AnElephantCant make the link thingy on here work now.
Any ideas, anyone?

Copyright -Randy Mazie

Copyright -Randy Mazie

The Squat

They are a nice friendly bunch in here.
Too many squats are full of low lifes, druggies, scroungers, thieves.
But this one is okay.
I feel quite comfortable here.
It is dry and safe, almost homely.
They are mostly just kids, runaways, teenagers down on their luck.
They help each other, share food and smokes.
They keep the place clean, gather their rubbish and put it in a skip down the street.
It is a shame.
But best get on with it.
The problem is that I hate squatters.
I am actually quite sorry I have to shoot them all.

About AnElephantCant

An artist/writer/poet combination whose blogs reflect an approach to life that celebrates nature and takes a tongue-in-cheek view of most issues. So you get rhymes and doodles, photographs and comment. Irreverent and irrelevant. Occasionally funny, sometimes serious, mostly pointless. https://anelephantcant.me/
This entry was posted in Daft Rhymes and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

71 Responses to The Squat – Friday Fictioneers

  1. brainsnorts says:

    love how the last line flips everything upside down. that’s what these (to me) are all about. let me know if you want some suggestions on cutting extra words to free up more description.

    Like

  2. annisik51 says:

    It was too good to be true (then it wouldn’t be a good story if it were) but I didn’t expect my next door neighbour to turn up in your plot. 🙂

    Like

  3. draliman says:

    Yeeks, I was just thinking “this is nice” when suddenly he turns out to be a psycho! Nice build up to the shock ending.

    Like

  4. Oh, this was awful… In a very well-written way. Just when I was getting comfortable in this old building full of conscientious runaways… BAM! Well done.

    Like

  5. Hey! I wasn’t expecting that ending! Well done!

    Like

  6. Whoa, strong story. I didn’t expect the severe ending. Nice one!

    Like

  7. mike olley says:

    That ending was so left field that my reaction was a shocked laugh. What a lure…

    Like

  8. You alway make me feel that pain in the end.. glorious end.

    Like

  9. Pingback: Friday Fictioneers – Violation | The Blurred Line

  10. Brilliant! I love the slightly amused resolution. Very psycho killer.

    Like

  11. hugmamma says:

    Yikes, Elephant!!! I thought this elephant had a heart? In fact, I’m sure he still has one that thumps pink through his compassionate veins. (Is it working yet? A happier ending, perhaps?)

    Like

  12. Eena says:

    Oh I wish this didn’t make me laugh so hard! AnElephant and I are incorrigible!

    Like

  13. A sting in the tail. Hope it never comes to this. But sometimes not far off.

    Like

  14. RoSy says:

    Just as they didn’t see it coming – neither did I – YIKES!

    Like

  15. Adam Ickes says:

    Never expected that ending. Personally I wouldn’t shoot them, but most of the characters I write probably would. I’m not sure what that says about me.

    Like

    • AnElephant does not harm any of Ma Nature’s creatures except, reluctantly, mosquitoes.
      But his blog is a bloodbath!
      So he has high hopes for you too, Adam.
      Thank you for visiting and taking the time to comment.

      Like

  16. EagleAye says:

    Ooh, that’s a wicked twist at the end. Great job!

    Like

  17. emmylgant says:

    Jeepers! Deliciously wicked! Sick twist…so why do I like it so much?

    Like

  18. misskzebra says:

    What;s wrong with squatting? It really tones up your thighs.

    Like

  19. You made us love them and hate your narrator rather quickly.
    Good one.

    Like

  20. Sandra says:

    That was some twist at the end. Well done.

    Like

  21. kz says:

    very dark. i liked the deceiving tone at the beginning. 🙂 PS AnElephant should know, he’s not the only one afraid of frogs… me too 🙂 lol

    Like

  22. Neatly done, if a bit drastic, twist at the end. 🙂

    janet

    Like

  23. atrm61 says:

    Ha!ha!Loved that ending-the poor innocent reader skipping along merrily,thinking ok,the poor buggers have at least one good Samaritan out there looking out for them and then wham!Now,the reader,slack-jawed -all air whooshing out of their lungs, gets up and slowly reads that line again and again-with wonder this time!Bravo my friend:-)

    Like

  24. elmowrites says:

    I sympathise with your MC – I used to clear out squats for a living – very occasionally you do feel sympathy for them. But I didn’t use a shotgun, there are other ways!

    Like

  25. You don’t HAVE to shoot anyone, darling. AnElephantCant help it if he is the master of the surprise ending, though, so….

    Like

  26. Brenda says:

    Send an elephant to the med and suddenly he rampages. Hmm. LOL Shocker ending, my friend.

    Like

  27. I think the person’s sympathetic, reasonable tone only heightens the darkness of the ending. Kind of like “sorry to do it, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Oh well.” Great tale.

    Like

  28. Al says:

    Fantastic 😀

    Like

  29. Dear Elephant,

    Now that was a twisted and sick ending. That’s what I loved about it. Well done. And…you are linked. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  30. neenslewy says:

    Shock ending! Didn’t see that one coming! For a squat it is certainly pretty!

    Like

  31. What a kill joy your are Sir elephant, here are innocent people bludging off the public purse strings and you want to go out and do away with them. I ask you good sir, we Aussies are far more tolerant and compassionate I am sure. Good yarn though.

    Like

Go on, say something, even if it's rude!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s