Recognition – Friday Fictioneers

AnElephantCant deny he’s impatient
When he gets Rochelle’s prompt man you want to see him go
He knows you all scoff
But he sees a boat at a wharf
It is a pretty cool view from a window

Once again it is Friday Fictioneer time.
Presented weekly by classy Captain Rochelle, this is a casual collection of convincing chronicles from her cool crew.
And ALandlubberElephant.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
That’s it.

Copyright-Ted Strutz

Copyright-Ted Strutz

Recognition

She is no longer young but he immediately recognises her at the window.
He walks away quickly, struggling to keep calm.
He heads down towards the port, remembering with every step.
He knows he treated her badly, deserves to die for what he did.
But she is a gentle soul, with a loving, forgiving heart.
She has probably forgotten he even existed.
It has been a long time.
In ten seconds he’ll be on the ferry.
She has not forgotten.
She rests her rifle on the window sill, sees the little red dot in the centre of his back
Smiles.

About AnElephantCant

An artist/writer/poet combination whose blogs reflect an approach to life that celebrates nature and takes a tongue-in-cheek view of most issues. So you get rhymes and doodles, photographs and comment. Irreverent and irrelevant. Occasionally funny, sometimes serious, mostly pointless. https://anelephantcant.me/
This entry was posted in Daft Rhymes, Friday Fictioneer and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

36 Responses to Recognition – Friday Fictioneers

  1. “Hell hath no fury…” and all that!
    Good work,
    Scott

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  2. hmv says:

    Oh, I love the interweaving story lines! And it’s wonderfully dark 🙂 Good job AnElephantCant!

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  3. Woah, wasn’t expecting that. Good one!

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  4. Lucy says:

    She didn’t forget!! I don’t know what he did to her but I know a few dentists I’d like to shoot. If I could get away with it.. Great take on the prompt. Very clever. Lucy

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  5. Indira says:

    Very nice. What a gentle soul. Since an elephant has very sharp eyesight we got a nice story.

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  6. She has not forgotten . Vendetta. cold revenge. a surprise twist.

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  7. Maree Gallop says:

    Wow, great take from his POV, I didn’t see the twist at the end coming and neither did he! Enjoyed reading.

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  8. ContactRida says:

    as the Klingons say, “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” great tale!

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  9. sandraconner says:

    Ooooooh, this story has great timing and execution! (Pardon the pun.)

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  10. Never underestimate a scorned woman! Nice little tale!

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  11. Oh, a ‘gentle soul’! She ‘smiles’. Hell hath no fury ….

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  12. I’ve been treated pretty bad, I mean really bad but I never thought any of them should die. I wonder what he did to deserve THAT!?

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  13. This is so effective since he realizes what he did was so bad. He just doesn’t realize her true personality. 🙂

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  14. Sounds like she’s been waiting for this moment for quite some time, and will no doubt enjoy it thoroughly.
    Great build-up of tension. The shift in perspective at the end made that final image all the sharper.

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  15. He must have been a very bad boy. Great take on the prompt.

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  16. hugmamma says:

    Wow! Not expected. Great take on the prompt.

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  17. Al says:

    Haha He never saw it coming 😉

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  18. Hannah says:

    AnElephant and I are en rapport today—lovely story. Revenge is a dish best served with high tech rifles.

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  19. A cold dish is sometimes the best …

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  20. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Elephant, I think I already replied, but I read it again. This is so well done and you are so very clever. I like the rhymes too. Yes, he made her madder than he thought! Thanks, Nan 🙂

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  21. Gyslaine L. says:

    Encore un très bel écrit. J’espère qu’elle a oublié et que tu nous reviendras (rire) Bisous

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  22. Elephant, He must have done something really, really nasty to her. To say she didn’t forget is putting it mildly. Well written. 🙂 —Susan

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  23. Nice story! Things are not always as they seem. I’m also impressed you rhymed ‘him go’ with ‘window’ 🙂

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    • AnElephant is glad you liked his wee tale
      He is now pink and not pale
      He thinks you will find
      He has a million bad rhymes
      So he is never stuck unless he
      Has to find one for Jessie

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      • Haha so true! The only word that rhymes with Jessie is not very positive at all… in saying that, it could be quite accurate because my things are usually pretty disorganised.

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        • AnElephantCant wear a kilt to be dressy
          As Jessie suggests he is messy
          But he wants to impress he
          Seeks your interest he
          Comes from the country which is famous for castles and ghosties and Nessie

          Like

  24. Oh yes. That feeling that you’re in the spotlight. A nice read, thanks for writing it.

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  25. Sandra says:

    You see, some girls just can’t handle rejection… it’s as well to know which ones they are. 😦

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  26. Horus says:

    Ooops! Though I would like to believe that she used the gun’s telescope to have one more closer look at him – just that much! 🙂

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  27. Dear Elephant,

    Such a subtle but effective switch of POV. A suggestion, for what it’s worth; I’d take out the line “She has not forgotten.” Even more subtle to just switch to her with the rifle trained on his head.
    At any rate, you do have a way with words. I look forward to your verses and your stories every week.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

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