After Linda – Friday Fictioneers

AnElephantCant claim he’s a chef
Which is surprising for a chap of his mettle
He leaves most food uncut
Prefers to munch a peanut
AnElephantCant boil a kettle

Once again it is Friday Fictioneer time.
Our charismatic culinarist Rochelle heats up a host of hard-working hacks to fry a feast of fantastic fables.
And AnElephant is a recipe for disaster.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
That’s it.

© Raina Ng

© Raina Ng

After Linda

We have a traditional marriage.
I am the bread-winner, Linda the housewife.
We have no children, but we still have hopes.
I am quite surprised when she tells me she is leaving.
Or, more precisely, when she tells me she has left.
I read her note, taped to my lap-top.
It is almost funny, it is such a cliché.
My wife has gone off with my best friend.
Well, I did not see that coming.
I quickly make plans.
I head towards the rear of our sprawling mansion.
I push open a door, stand open-mouthed.
Wow, I think, nice kitchen.

About AnElephantCant

An artist/writer/poet combination whose blogs reflect an approach to life that celebrates nature and takes a tongue-in-cheek view of most issues. So you get rhymes and doodles, photographs and comment. Irreverent and irrelevant. Occasionally funny, sometimes serious, mostly pointless. https://anelephantcant.me/
This entry was posted in Daft Rhymes, Friday Fictioneer and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

73 Responses to After Linda – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Margaret says:

    I’m not sure she’s going to be much better off if she’s hooked up with his best friend – there’s a good chance the two men will have similar attitudes. However, I wish her luck. This is a good story. Elephant. Love the ending.

    Like

  2. afairymind says:

    If he’s living in a mansion I think he was probably doing a good job as bread-winner, even if he wasn’t a very good husband. He’s going to have to become familiar with his kitchen if he wants to eat… or maybe he’ll resort to ordering takeout every day… or maybe he’ll just hire a cook… Great story. 🙂

    Like

  3. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Elephant, Wonderful story and he probably had never been in the kitchen – too bad; If his wife was a good cook he should be upset. On the other hand, if she can only cook a peanut, she will not be missed. He probably has money so he can hire a cook or whatever. Cute! Nan

    Like

    • Oh Nan, how could you!!!
      Only a peanut, indeed!
      AnElephant is staggered by such sacrilege.
      He is so upset he refuses to tell you that he is happy you liked his story.
      You have dropped far down the adorable stakes here.

      Like

  4. mjlstories says:

    After Paula Yates left Bob Geldof she said he didn’t know where to find the washing machine. There may have been other reasons. Can’t believe I’m telling you this or even that I know this!
    Great last line. I wanted to hate this guy but somehow I couldn’t in the end. He has paid for it (in so many ways) I hope he enjoys his kitchen!

    Like

    • Bob needs to look under the cushions on the settee, that is where AnElephant finds most things he is looking for.
      And the poor man is surely not hateful, just a bit awry in his priorities, perhaps.
      Glad you liked it enough to share your wisdom!

      Like

  5. belindacrane says:

    Throw in a few more of those light fittings and he could have the entire solar system in his kitchen! Loved your story Mr Elephant … I won’t pick a side because I’m boring in that I can see both of their points of view. Neither is wrong and neither is right 🙂

    Like

  6. phylor says:

    I suspect he will hire a cook the next day! Sprawling mansion. Loved the story.

    Like

  7. Kalpana solsi says:

    Hasn’t he ever stepped into the beautiful kitchen before.?

    Like

  8. A bit too traditional methinks. What a clever tale.

    Like

  9. love it as always. It is a wonderful kitchen, I wonder what AnElephant will cook first

    Like

  10. wildbilbo says:

    I hope he’s a better cook than I – in the years I spent single, the most oft used kitchen implement was the phone for takeout 🙂
    Well done.

    Like

  11. If she hadn’t left a note perhaps he may never have noticed. He may have just thought she was in the kitchen.

    Like

  12. plaridel says:

    i guess it’s not too late to learn how to cook. 🙂

    Like

  13. Ironic…most of the great chefs are men. 😉 Maybe this one will find his passion in his newly discovered kitchen?

    Like

  14. Danny James says:

    He may find the bedroom next 🙂

    DJ

    Like

  15. I think catering will work well… a TV-sofa and catered food should be good enough. Maybe he can build a billiard in the kitchen.

    Like

  16. That would be me! I look at the kitchen and if I love it, I buy the house. LOL! Wonderful story.

    Like

  17. ansumani says:

    LOL. It’s not unheard of in some traditional cultures for the man to have never set foot in the kitchen. Nice format for the story too.

    Like

  18. Sandra says:

    Well I can’t imagine what persuaded her to leave. And I think he’s going to have plenty of time to enjoy the strange kitchen. Nice one.

    Like

  19. Wow, interesting that he never even set foot in the kitchen. I wonder what else he missed.

    Like

  20. He’ll have to get his own food now! Great!
    Rosey Pinkerton’s blog

    Like

  21. I give him a week before the food runs out. Then there’ll be trouble

    Like

  22. emmylgant says:

    Ah well! All that bread and not a clue!
    emm’s a messy cook so she thinks
    A kitchen with that neat a look
    is downright suspicious,
    but this little concoction is just delicious.

    Like

  23. Nice. I laughed. Good for her, I say! 🙂

    Like

  24. Indira says:

    Surprise, surprise! No murder or revenge? I think munching peanuts is a better option.

    Like

  25. Dale says:

    And so, a new career was born! Having never stepped foot in the kitchen, not knowing what lay behind the door, he touched the tools of the trade, smelt the possibilities and lived happily ever after, feeding the hungry! 😉

    Like

  26. Wonderful as usual with a twist that made me smile and cringe at the same time at the end. I have to say that I am not surprised that she left him if he had never before stepped foot in the kitchen where from what you say she spent an inordinate amount of time.

    Like

  27. Sightsnbytes says:

    Back in the stone age, it was perfectly acceptable to believe that the man was the breadwinner and the woman stayed home and ‘cared for the house and kids’. It is time for the character in the story to get with the times. Nice take on the prompt.

    Like

  28. Frederick says:

    Haha I don’t know what to make of the ending, but it made me realize that I tend to jump to tragic conclusions. And I love the alliterative introductions! Keep it up and well done!!
    Cheers,
    Frederick

    Like

  29. Ah, the oblivion…I think he will not miss her that much.

    Like

  30. Vinay Leo R. says:

    Goes to show that some things go unnoticed when one is living in luxury with another taking care of the luxury 🙂

    Like

  31. Dear Elephant,

    A sprawling mansion with her as the housewife? No wonder she left him. I thought sure he was going to murder her and his best friend. Funny ending.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  32. niasunset says:

    So impressive especially the ending part. Amazing writing dear poet, Thank you, love, nia

    Like

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